And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
Highlight of my evening, pile of books falling onto me in front of people
i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
I didn't know your ex looked like a male Khloe Kardashian?
This guy kept trying to use "see? I'm clean. Cleared by the plasma place today." as a pick up line. This is not okay.
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
I'm taking pictures of my asshole to send to my boss. This is not what I had in mind the day after thanksgiving.
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
Oh honey. I will not JUST be drunk. I will be spring break drunk. Spectacularly hammered. It will be glorious for all watching and embarrassing for anyone that has to drag me to bed.
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