we're getting ready to take strippers to breakfast. I love my life.
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
What can I say, your life is charmed. I'm on the couch trying to decide whether or not to puke again.
Remind me to switch to jello when you decide to do shots off my ass. It's so much easier to clean than this pudding.
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
Judging by the ckaw marks on my back i'm gonna go out on a limb and say that blonde chick was a werewolf. A sexy, kinky werewolf.
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
It's very disconcerting to wake up and she is gone. I never know where she could be. It's like playing wheres Waldo but Waldo could potentially be drunk and wandering around in weird places that normal Waldo's don't go.
I just bought spray paint, a T-shirt, and a box of magnum condoms. The cashier refused to make eye contact! Haha
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
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