You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
Sober me does NOT approve of what went on in my pants last night.
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
I can't help but feel like we would be friends still if my phone didn't always capitalize BUTTLOAD...
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
I told my coworker that I'm going to a dinner party and was asked to bring wine and pregnancy tests and he was like.. I miss being 20
Like actually I will be single and sad and lonely for ever. Cheese will be my life partner. Robot sex is my future.
Had a rough day but my boyfriend made that all better by going down on me while letting me watch Top Gear... I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
I woke up this morning to find myself laying in a beer puddle with "I'm sorry" written on the shaft of my dick and Nicole was nowhere to be found. Gotta love her
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
He gave me a back massage while we were fucking.
Did you get that?
WHILE WE WERE FUCKING.
Randomize
