apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
This beer is not sobering me up at all
Just picture a dyson vacuum with razor blades. That's how it felt.
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
They have 12 kegs and 40 bottles of liquor and a pool with a diving board. And hardly anyone at this wedding knows me. Should be a great night
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
Hahah I’ve never had someone stop me mid-coitus to tell me how amazing I am. Def ego boost.
Randomize