hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
I just washed champagne and tuna off my body. I feel like that was a successful shower.
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
But Monday we'll be living in a post-apocalyptic hellscape. Also, I'm going to a champagne tasting.
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
Me either. I want to get 'chase a stray cat through the neighborhood in my hooker heels' drunk. And it's your birthday, so you have to get 'best friend holding your hair while you puke in the bar bathroom and cry about your life' drunk. In a feather boa.
Are we hungover?
I got a lapdance from a gay guy in red uggs and spandex shorts with reindeer antlers on. And I don't remember it. Hungover does not even cover it.
Ok I'm good with that cause I'm gonna disappear for 90 days
Are you goin to rehab again?
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
Randomize
