The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
Considering that my ex-wife dumped me to become a lesbian, the Universe owes me a threesome.
i know, but like... i wanna be a CLASSY i'm-stealing-your-date kind of slutty...
She was sitting there stuffing her face rubbing my back with a dorito cheese filled hand while eating something else with the other hand as I was crying.
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
I literally just skipped to the fridge when I realized we had enough vodka left to get day drunk
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
I almost rear ended this hot guy driving a Porsche Cayenne just so I could get his phone number
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
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