So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
i woke up with a shattered plate next to my head.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up wearing just my underwear and a headlamp at a different house than I remember passing out at. I told you irish car bombs are not made with an entire guinness.
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
I SHOULD NOT BE HAVING AN EXISTENTIAL CRISIS OVER PIZZA
You held an empty wine bottle to your head and declared yourself the "wine unicorn." For the rest of the night you galloped everywhere and whenever anyone refused to be a wine unicorn with you, you tried to spear them with the bottle.
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
Also, can next Friday be Long Underwear Friday instead of Jockstrap Friday? Because I'm about to cough up a testicle.
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
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