Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
I'm at the grocery store buying monistat and corn nuts. thank god for self check out.
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
When I told her that her boyfriend was making out with another chick, all she said was "which one"
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
HEY. That drawer full of booze in my dorm room also has aspirin and Tums in it. So don't tell me I don't care about health.
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
I asked him if we could hang out sometime when we weren't hammered. He said he'd email me his number... that's when I knew I was going to die alone
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
and than he said 'I did amateur porn for a while' and I just knew tinder did not fail me this time
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
I just told the bartender to “give me something that will murder me”
Randomize
