i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
Yesterdays boozy weather forecast has been extended to today
You knew you'd end up at his house the minute you emptied the bowl of condoms into your purse.
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
Man, I'm never going tanning again he noticed the burns on my ass
And, by “make you dinner” I mean “have lots of sex and multiple orgasms.” So you should probably eat something and before you come over
And hydrate too
Randomize
