I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
So I'm at the Chevron by your house. I need a condom and a couch.
Together?
Preferably.
Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At first I was confused when I woke up with shards of glass and pickle brine in my pants. But then I remembered I hung out with you last night.
She was so loose she sounded like a jar of salsa. I didn't know that was even possible.
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
Saved a second guy who was crying/on the verge of wigging out. Just call me the drug whisperer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last night someone asked you what your favorite color was and you said "bagel."
Have you ever been up at one in the morning and thought to yourself, "I do not know nearly enough about penguin reproduction"?
I forgot to tell you that he serenaded me with "Fuck Her Gently" by Tenacious D. And I didn't hate it.
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
Despite how often it occurs, I have absolutely no interest in having sex with myself
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
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