May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
Whiskey shot with bacon bits, our version of Goldschlager WE ARE TRYIN IT.
Yes I hit her with my car. Yes I gave her a ride home. And yes she gave me her number. What's the problem?
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
Now I'm heckling that my belch is more exciting than their fireworks and I peed down the driveway.
its weird that my cat bites every fat chick i bring home. i repeat every fat chick, qhT KINDA FRIEND ARE YOU
Just come get me. Somewhere there's hobo that's going to want his dumpster back, and I kinda want to be gone when he discovers the vomit.
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
I solemnly swear to help bail you out of jail when you throw a dildo at a politician.
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
Throwing up in a storm drain... Not my finest moment.
But my shoes looked boss
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