Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
guess who has a date tonight
look at you growing up, going on dates before she hops into bed
Just ducktaped my beer to my bike. See you in ten.
I can't be 100% sure of this but I think tonight was the first time I told a middle aged woman holding a baby to go fuck herself
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
It's amazing
I want to run hundreds of miles and do a whole semesters worth of homework while flying on a unicorn and throwing endless glitter bombs
A fair warning: I don't think a cop will let you off the hook just because your birthday is on New Year's Eve
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
Yes. I am out of condoms. I kept filling them with glow paint and playing with them when I was on mushrooms, which resulted in me having unprotected sex last weekend
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
Life's hard when you can't differentiate between retrograde and PMS
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