ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
I usually would've stopped there but I kinda remember opening the bottle of vodka, and we ALL know that's when things go downhill.
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
Some girls wake up to good morning texts. I wake up to pictures of an angry Shrek getting a blowjob.
let your parents know i'm sorry i ran around the house pretending their metal detector was a "booze detector"
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
Randomize
