i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
What happened on tuesday that a stripper knows my full name?
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
He wore my sunglasses on his honeymoon..... so there's that.
It's my coworker's last day party and I'm the one who ended up shitfaced on the train with half a bottle of belvedere in my bag.
Beer coozy in the gym. Don't judge me.
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
This guy on Hoarders just said "we're all about 4 or 5 decisions away from shitting in a bucket". True dat
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
If you sleep with him I will stab you int the uterus with a pitchfork.
Prepare the pitchfork.
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
I got home and found him passed out in my tank top so i think i'll put lipstick on him and mass text a picture to everyone in his phone. that's what he gets for eating all my wheat thins
I flushed a potato down the toilet so now we have to live in a hotel.
Randomize
