I just woke up in the back of his van. Bring me a sunkist.
The woman exiting the men's room tried convincing me she was actually a good-looking man.
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
I just gave her a sobriety test in the middle of the baking aisle.
And the results, officer?
She's fucked.
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
Randomize