She is in my trunk
Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
He explained how that handle got into our fridge. I think i'm going to stick with my original assumption that the vodka gods want me to drink more vodka.
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
So hung over, I told one of the candidates she's hired if we can turn the lights off and take a nap instead of doing her interview. I feel like she has potential.
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
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