Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
I wonder if Barack Obama has ever been this drunk.
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
He tried to reenact Braveheart's freedom scream but got tackled by his drunk roommate who thought he was yelling that the handle he was holding up was free.
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
Just bailed on her the best way possible. Got tickets to the game. Only issue is.... if we lose, we not only lost, but I skipped sex to watch us lose
Thanks for being the best husband and reassuring my fuck buddy that you're comfortable with my adultery. You da real MVP.
MY GOD WHY DIDN'T I TAKE PHOTOS OF HIS CREDIT CARDS WHILE HE WAS SLEEPING
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
Remember when I puked into a mesh garbage can in the middle of a meeting and told the clients it was "morning sickness"?
hahah yep
Well the are flying back here, it's been like 10 months, should I frame fake baby pics in my office?? Or too much?
I DEMAND FORESKIN
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