I think i peed on brittanys purse
i had the deer in headlights look when she walked in and i was digging in her hamper
Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
1) Woke up alone with my bathing suit on inside out spooning an empty bottle of Jack, 2) get the fuck on to my level 3) please pick me up and bring a stuffed pony, some Oreo's and my pride...
Apparent my drunk ass was so dedicated to taking a piss, when I walked across the dance floor to get to the bathroom a 9/10 broad tried to dance with me and I just pushed her aside, like hard enough to send her a few feet from where she was standing, pointed at her and said "Not now chief, gotta rock a mean one."
Randomize
