god please explain to me why there's blood underneath my fingernails AND toenails?!?!
Dude To be completely honest I don't think you want me to.
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face...
So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
For real, I've been ditched by my boyfriend twice today alone. I fucking shaved for this guy.
Somewhere out there, Gloria Steinem just started to cry.
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
passed out on bart again and decide to bike home. biked thru a goat farm of angry goats, biked on the freeway, got stopped by the cops, and sat shotgun in the squad car while the officer driving got a video on his iphone of his partner riding my bike on the freeway.
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
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