I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
We left an ass print on the piano.
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
Aside from the fact that im drinking wine straight from the bottle to save doing dishes, im also standing in front of the oven to save turning on the heater. its gonna be a rough winter.
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
I just saw a woman give her infant whiskey tits. About ten minutes ago she was doing shots, and now she's breast feeding. Whiskey. Tits.
Went to waffle house after dropping my sister off at school and got into a heated argument with a drunk/hungover philosophy professor I will not name. I won the argument.
Randomize
