I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
I did a mental Irish jig when he pulled out the second condom.
Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
He asked if I wanted to blow his flute? Please call me and pretend there is a family emergency!!!
So im walking through ohare and this guy walks by with a cart full of big bottles of liquor. I want to know what flight hes on.
My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
i am pretty sure she ate my hamster last night. i am thinking this because she left me a note that says she ate my hamster and my hamster is no longer in its hamster cage.
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
I hate find pieces of condom wrappers on carpet. It's like god is throwing flakes of shame for me to vacuum up
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
The more I think about it, the more convinced I am that I'm the solution to all of T-Swift's guy problems.
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
Randomize
