So my roomate was sunbathing this morning on the porch with a sock covering his penis
Sounds like a really classy character....
He is classy. It was argyle.
You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
It's a sad day when you realize you are no longer above fucking in movie theater bathrooms.
I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
Do you think it's safe to mix miralax with a tequila sunrise?
I just had to kick out lesbian wedding crashers. They literally wanted to punch me. I threatened to call the cops so they went outside and smoked a joint.
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
I'm excited I love mornings when I'm not sober
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
Okay first of all fuck you and everything you stand for because Taco Bell is amazing.
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
Randomize
