Rocking a Headband at the strip club, because of Rock of Love this shit is like their kryptonite, I smell like stripper butter and back child support.
I woke up this morning with a hospital armband on containing all the information off my fake i.d. WTF did we do last night!?!?
You tipped the bathroom lady $20 and then yelled "IT'S YOUR LUCKY DAAAAAAAY" at her.
It's not mothers day until you're vomitting syrup into grandma's toilet. Cherish the holidays
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
He wasn't lying when he said he was immune to pepperspray. He pretended it burned for like 12 seconds and told the cops he was kidding he was alright. We'll be there soon.
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
There is this guy in here. He didn't even get ice cream he just filled up his cup with mini marshmellows, chocolate syrup, about a lb of grahm cracker crumbs and walked around to everyone in the shop saying "hey, hey look here, I just made fucking s'mores." He was SO proud of himself.
Randomize
