I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
its been so long since i'vebeen laid i've forgotten what a penis looks like. When a guy makes me hot i picture him finishing the job by whipping a multi-setting showerhead out of his pants.
he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
He was pretty out of it. He heard crickets outside, and thought it was the laptop. So he put his ear to it, rubbed the keyboard, and said "tell me your secrets."
I can't be the first person ever who had to explain why her bottle of orange juice had a picture of a screwdriver drawn on it
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
It's 11:50 on Friday the 13th. There's a full moon. AND the bride to be just puked on herself while getting a lap dance from a stripper named...wait for it....LUCKY. Is this real life?
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
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