drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
He's high as balls tripping balls and doing a reenactment of the scene where Buzz jumps off the balcony and can't fly to his soundtrack of Toy Story.
What if our hands were octopus tentacles?
You're an idiot.
BEHOLD THE MORNING PIGEON
SANCTIFY THE CHALK TADPOLE
THERE IS NO SOBRIETY. ONLY ZUUL.
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
Its really hard to take a shit when the dog wont stop trying to crawl into your lap
First walk of shame in 18 years. Divorce is going well.
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