wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
a bus full of elementary school kids may or may not have seen me pissing off my front porch this morning
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
I put xanax in the cake batter
Did you really? It all makes sense now.
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
Randomize
