Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
Dude. There are selfies on my phone of me, wide-eyed, sucking my pillow. We did NOT split that bag 50/50.
Fun Fact: I do not remember what its like to be sober between drinking off and on for two weeks at my "vacation" and being on painkillers for my mouth now
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
I met her parents last night. Her dad smelled like weed and kept yelling "I HAVE ALLERGIES AHHH MY EYES ARE BURNING!" During dinner It had to be good weed he didn't even know he was yelling.
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
ok, muffins say "love me", waffles say "fuck me", got it.
Randomize