i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
I was officially considered the drunkest person in cuba when the bartender at the swim up bar made me wear a life jacket for 'safety purposes'
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
Oh, that was the alley that I ate a pine cone in.
Yeah. I'm so over work, that I'm not even satisfied pretending to work anymore. I just flat out want to go home. Fuck this job
My dick has a subreddit
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
Randomize
