forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
then he asked me if i wanted to "handle his wingman"
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
Actually it's really just going to be me drunk in your living room swinging from a pole on a tuesday morning.
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
I woke up this morning to find my closet lacking 98% of my clothes and a text from my male roommate saying your dresses squeeze my genitals
Randomize
