he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also I'm eating leftovers with a pair of bullet removal forceps (unused) because I don't have a fork.
Just sitting here contemplating the meaning of life.
So you're drunk waiting for the bus.
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
NO FUCKBOY SHALL PASS OPERATION #BITCHMODE HAS SUCCEEDED
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
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