when i say i joined a midget dating site why do u assume i was drunk
New requirements. My future husband must have a nose ring and wear headbands.
We are no longer friends.
Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
so he just called his new girlfriend by my name and she was too drunk to even notice how awkward..
His dick was as big as my arm. Giving him a handjob was like giving someone an Indian sunburn.
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
Randomize
