nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
do you remember putting condoms over both your hands and asking me if your fists would be too big.
Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
Oh btw, my mom called... you made the police blotter in the newspaper. Don't worry, she's mailng me a copy so I can put in on the fridge.
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
Just had a 40 min argument about how many celebrity guest appearances on Sesame Street were court ordered for DUIs.
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
I'm really sorry that I blew your friend in your bed, but to be fair he started it.
Well I mean he still had sex with me after I told him that I play fetch with the kids I take care of, so I'm not really looking too far ahead with him...
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
I literally wonder, frequently, "Will anyone ever fuck me until i go cross eyed for 2 hours again?''
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
So I was walking to the bathroom and some random dude threw up while walking towards me. He kept eye contact the entire time and didn't stop moving.
Randomize
