the truckdriver in the lane next to me just looked down and motorboated in my direction.
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
My penis hasn't been this frustrated since I was like 13 and I awkwardly got boners at school dances
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
I snuck in through the doggy door to get his vodka. Do you think my ex will know?
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
I knocked over his glass and he yelled "Oh no the boxed wine!" and slurped it off the coffee table. Then he showed me how to mix maple syrup, Jameson, and coffee. My family is better than your family.
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