did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
That's cool, I just have to let the dogs out AND SO HELP ME GOD IF YOU TEXT ME BAHA MEN LYRICS WE ARE NOT FRIENDS.
Did I happen to mention where i left my keys when I drunk dialed you last night
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
I guess he was telling a totally normal story about being a lifeguard and I wouldn't stop screaming "THAT'S LUDICROUS" at random intervals.
We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese
Just a heads up before you get home. Took the shelves out of the fridge so i could fit the beer ball and bucket of riot punch. Apparently i decided the stove was the best place to keep them. They got cooked when we pre heated to cook a bird we shot. This may be the final straw for our security deposit
Please warn me if you ever end up in porn, cause I don't want to stumble across that on accident, okay?
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
I was gonna start crying but as he was asking me for my info i saw him eyeing my rack. So I sorta started pushing them together. He asked me to get out of the car he made me turn around so he could check me out and then he said and I quote "okay ma'am. Everything is fine, I'm going to let you off with a warning. Next time if you're not wearing yoga pants you might not be as lucky" I am blessed.
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
Trusting in Jesus is not a viable birth control plan.
wtf why is there glitter all over my dog
Randomize
