I puked a lego.
During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
At the ER. Dropped bottle lead to cut foot which led to me drunk hitting on doctors. Not going well.
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
Don't ask me how, but I have a squirrel in my backpack and I don't know what to do with it.
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
Are you ok?
They gave me a cat until I fall asleep. His name is fluffy because he's fluffy.
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
All because of that GODDAMNED MIKE PENCE.
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
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