Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
I had a dream last night that Anthony Bourdain gave me a vibrator.
omh. i just found SHIT IN THE SHOWER! who the fuck does that? and why do i always seem to find it?
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
I miss the time when Mondays weren't the new Thursdays. I can't drink like my 17 year old self anymore.
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
I expected better sex from someone with the word CHAOS tattooed above his dick. But on the bright side, he was down to watch a documentary on Honey Badgers afterwards so I guess I'll keep him around.
So it's official the pockets of my work apron exist solely for the purpose of secretly flipping off asshole customers and not losing my job.
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
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