i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
the cops who came hadnt heard yet. when we told them they sang the star spangled banner with us
Me and allie were just offered cocaine by a strange man in a women's bathroom. Why have I not lived in Austin my whole life?
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
I'm shaving my vagina to the lion king soundtrack. How's your 9am?
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
Halfway through missionary I realized I was partially laying on his sleeping dog and idk that just kinda ruined it for me sooo
The cards I get dealt on tinder now are karma for fucking a married man while I was in high school.
Randomize
