But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
One girl and one boy is just not enough.
I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
I think my vagina was keeping me fat all these years out of self preservation. It's like she knew what would happen if I lost the weight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The entire time I'm blowing him she's in the back seat lecturing me on the reasons why you're not suppose to do that while they're driving...
Swear to god you say cuddle bunny one more time and honest to god I will sacrifice a bunny on the hood of your car
He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you
2 things: 1) can you get hep from toilet water? And 2) do you know where we can get a new skillet for cheap?
Please tell me those aren't related.
I made rice.
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Novelty of the week: Getting my lipstick back in an evidence bag
You called me your momma bear, and then demanded more vodka
Its like drunk me is Oprah except instead of a car everyone's award is seeing my boobs
Every Easter every single one the baby Jesus butt plug comes up
I dont think you understand. A NOODLE FELL OUT OF MY VAGINA! I DEMAND TO KNOW WHAT YOU DID TO ME LAST NIGHT!
I pelvic thrusted so hard while he was eating me out that his nose started bleeding. I think it's broken. Trophy scars, right?
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