Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
Just found out what was wrong with Esther. Turns out she's 33 and still not married. This explains everything.
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
I gave the bathroom attendant $5 last night for turning the sink on for me. What. The. Fuck.
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
No amount of beer will make me feel better about this. It's time for Emergency Whisky
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
PENIS EMOJIS WOULD MAKE MY LIFE SO MUCH EASIER GAH WHY DOES THE WORLD HATE ME
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
Randomize
