I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
you kept yelling "this bitch stole my phone" to the guy who found you passed out in the parking lot
My sharpie cut off line was invaded last night. Where's my turtleneck?
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
You have a long distance relationship and I have a long distance snapchat sexting buddy. If that doesn't describe who we are as people then I don't know what does.
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
I'm beginning a new chapter of my life in which our fridge will always be stocked with jello shots. I'm excited to embark down this road to fruity, semi-solid alcoholism.
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
holy f. i broke my toe giving him head. how does that even happen!?
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
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