You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
we were all standing in the kitchen taking shots and we look over at you and your face is in the plate of spaghetti you were eating.
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
when i tried to put the condom on he started screaming about how he didn't want his groceries bagged
I consider it a good night. I met Jimmy Buffet, who grabbed my ass, and I body-checked a toddler. She had it coming.
I accidently showed a girl my balls already today. Made me think of you.
I've never felt so epic in my entire life as I do right now, my bare testicles staring down the ocean itself
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
im not trying to sound dramatic, but im covered in microwavable lasagna
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
You straight up wore me out. This should be a proud moment for you. It's almost like my penis is asking for a timeout. But not really
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
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