Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
Oh my god. I think I just sexted my mom...
What?!
Fwd: Ride me, you sleek sleek woman!!!
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
Of dear god, I've been waiting to have rug burn like this since I got bored of my vibrator 2 months ago
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
So I've discovered that being hungover at 25 feels the same as being hungover at 24. Happy Birthday to me.
Did you put Dave Matthews band on the playlist? It's really hard to funnel when "Crash Into Me" kicks in.
My manager said you offered to make out with him to ensure I keep my job if I didn't show up to work today
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
Randomize
