I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
we put a pacifier in your mouth because you kept drunkenly singing country music.
I demand visitation hours with the duck.
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
Where's the chopping off someone's balls emoji
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
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