real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
Don't upload the drink o meter to your google calendar. Somehow binge drinking looks even worse with a time stamp.
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
My lighter is stuck in my beard.
If you had a dick, I would hope it falls off and comes back to haunt you while fucking your ears at night. But you don't. But if you did, that's how mad I am at you
DO NOT THROW SOUP AT YOUR SCREEN
My lease is up and I've been thinking, it's only fair that the guys I've fucked in this apartment in the past year help me move. They enjoyed the bed, now help me move it.
I can't believe I haven't fucked an Elvis impersonator yet.
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