he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
I told him I would only take his calls if he was dead, dying, capturing a midget, or buying me shots.
I stand by my new policy.
So you're on like a list there now..."Do not under any circumstances give this person a knife. Serve them in plastic cups ONLY"
After I was kicked out of the last frat I blacked out, woke up in the hospital with no clothes no phone and no idea what happened last night. But i got hospital socks, thats a win in my book.
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
Randomize
