So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
Aparently his snake got loose in the middle of the night. Not a sex joke, he has a fucking snake
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
So do you remember the bartender that caught me when I fell off the bar 4 weeks ago? He hasn't been to work since...Woops.
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
It's very disconcerting to wake up and she is gone. I never know where she could be. It's like playing wheres Waldo but Waldo could potentially be drunk and wandering around in weird places that normal Waldo's don't go.
Randomize
