I went to blockbuster, where I always go when I need to soul searching
Despondent, hopeless, I decide on vantage point, because I vaguely resemble matthew fox (let me believe this, please)
It was cheaper to buy then rent, so now I'm stuck w/ a wretched hangover and I own this shit movie
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
Why was I handcuffed to the roof?
It was easier then trying to explain why you couldn't fly
Apparently as she was dragging me out of the club, I was clinching onto this european guy screaming at Jenna: that's the 12th time you've cockblocked me tonight
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
Tried to land my foot on his shoulder and kicked him in the face. Then I fell into a homeless man's bike and posed with a buffalo head. How was your night?
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
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