I hate cats. They're so curious, it's not their damn business.
i feel like my eyelids need a kick stand.
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
he threw my burrito on the ground and said im too drunk. fuck that guy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
I was shitfaced. I filled my contact case WITH TANNING LOTION
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
my drug dealer is also my eyebrow lady. Two birds, one stone.
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