Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
There're making snowcones with the leftover vodka from last night. This is not the time to be making up excuses!
Pretty sure they aren't letting me back to karaoke night after I screamed "fuck every one of you tasteless hillbillies!!" because I felt they didn't clap loud enough for Jen.
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
I have to call my new boss to accept the job offer so you have pack the bowl while I pretend I'm a responsible adult THEN we can get high
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
I straight up told your dad I've slept with a majority of your family
I used the phrase "love child of quasimodo and cyclops " in a sentence today.
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
good news, i've got tacos. bad news, kevin's in the ER. more good news, the tacos were free.
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
Randomize
