i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
Hungover. Be in at noonish. Turn my monitor on and put a hot cup of coffee on my desk so the boss thinks I'm in
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
So, apparently, "i expected your penis to be bigger" isn't good pillow talk.
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
my new game is to try to use the phrase "explosion in your mouth". as much as possible on tinder.
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
I think my moral compass just broke
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
Randomize
