Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
If I had known I was gonna take my tights off and throw them over the balcony I would have shaved my legs.
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
Hey so I just want to get straight to the point it was me who ate the last cupcake and it was your sister who I fucked last nigt
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
Your shoe was in the washing machine. I have it in my pocket. My phone rang before and I answered your shoe. Meet me at the bar in 10.
Also I played a weird game of chicken in the ladies room at work between myself the person pooping 2 stalls over and a very determined maintenance man.
I have a pair of clean panties in my purse. This is having your life together.
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
Randomize
