Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
Important detail I forgot to tell you: leprechaun loves david bowie.
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Can vaginas get frostbite?
Me, him and the recently stolen carpet walked down the road and into the strip club. We had to check the carpet with our coats, it didn't mind missing out too much, later the door guy at Subway held carpet during late night sandwich selection.
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
Three Asian guys got on the elevator with a handle of Hennessey and a sleeping bag. This is not the start of a joke.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We had sex on a dog bed..
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
I need to hire someone full-time to slap food and dick away from me.
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
Just remember I’m your roommate with extremely questionable morals
Exactly, what could possibly go wrong
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