I love watching others lives come down to our level.
I have decided today is drunk costume day. That is, i woke up still drunk and found costumes all over my floor. Heck yes. This is happening. Come over. Drink.
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
I was just trying to flirt with James Franco but she kept telling me to take shots out of Ron Burgundy's mouth
I hope dressing like a sexy, but very grown up and intelligent, secretary while out shopping helps disguise how high I am right now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
He’s going to a lawnmower race. I got a Brazilian and he’s racing a lawnmower race. Pick me up. I’m not wasting this waxing on John Deer
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