This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
You called me twice to tell me that you spit in your own eye, when I was right next to you.
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
DONT TELL ME I CANT HAVE AN ENTIRE BOTTLE OF VODKA AT DINNER. IM AN ADULT. I PAY BILLS.
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
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