Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
He was probably pissed, but i couldn't tell for sure. How pissed can someone really look while holding a fishbowl mimosa?
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
Did you ever stop and think that god invented whiskey dick specifically for me
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
This can only be settled by a dance off.
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
Randomize
