Manager just farted into the intercom. Whole place heard it. A number of people stopped everything and looked at him. Best. Night. Ever.
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
She is a social worker. An actual good person trying to save the world. I feel like every time I give her an orgasm God wipes a little smudge off of my shit list.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I might have been fine if i had magic teleportation powers and could have skipped the car ride between bar and home
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
I look like I just got gang banged and I'm wearing a Taylor swift t shirt. It's not gonna be a pretty breakfast.
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Was just messaged by someone in a Power Ranger suit on OkCupid... Figured you would approve
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
I'm gonna go take a shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
Point in my hangover when I'm honestly not sure if I'm about to puke, or shit my pants.
Ever try to swallow something and have it go up into your nose instead? Yeah, I just sneezed bacon.
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